How To Know You Are In Love?

Once upon a time, a timeless question echoed in the hearts of many: “How do you know?” It was a mystery that seemed to elude even the most astute minds. Hollywood, in all its grandeur, has created movies centered around this ultimate suspense, capturing the chase and the grand reveal of true love. In a flash of lightning, people waited for that transformative moment.

Just like many others, I found myself entangled in this enigma. Does he love me back? Does he dwell on thoughts of me, as I do of him? In my pursuit of answers, I realized that I might be truly in love. Allow me to share my story, perhaps a cautionary tale…

I believed that I had found my great love, as we shared common interests and ideas. Our bond began as friendship, devoid of any intimacy. It had all the markings of a fairy tale, and I felt seen and understood like never before. Yet, deep within, I was grappling with a storm of emotions, lost in the midst of transition and healing from past wounds that I wasn’t even aware of. Unknowingly, I had carried unresolved pain from my father’s absence during my early years.

My father had vanished from my life when I was just six years old, and by the time I turned twelve, he was barely present, plagued by addiction and another relationship. I believed that I had no attachment to him, barely any memories to hold onto.

However, fate had a different plan for me. At a party, my sister invited me to, I caught sight of a man standing from afar. For a moment, I thought it was the man I believed I loved, and my heart leaped with joy. But as I turned to face him directly, to my astonishment, it was my father standing before me, striking a resemblance to the man I thought I loved.

The revelation shook me to my core, and I tried to dismiss it as mere coincidence. I returned home and arranged to meet the man I believed I loved, hoping to ascertain if my perception was accurate or just a figment of my imagination. As I was waiting at a traffic light, I caught sight of another man at the crosswalk, and I was sure it was my father, coming to make amends. But once again, reality intervened, and the man before me was the one I thought I loved.

Amidst this bewildering overlap of signs, I knew I had to heal. I had projected all the love I missed from my father onto a man I hardly knew. Canceling the meeting with the man I believed I loved, I asked him not to contact me again. It became apparent that I needed to embark on a journey of self-discovery and healing before I could trust myself to make important decisions about love and relationships.

So, before you ponder if someone is “The One,” ask yourself this crucial question: have you healed the wounds of your past? And not just brushed them aside, but genuinely embraced love and compassion for those who hurt you in your childhood. Have you found forgiveness? Moreover, does your partner also carry the scars of their past, and have they done the work to heal themselves? Without inner healing, no true decision about love can be made.

Time passed, and two years after that moment of revelation, I met my soulmate, my dear love, and my great love. There was no need for me to question or analyze if he was “The One.” Love was a dance, and we knew the steps by heart. I never asked myself, “How do I know?” Because when you truly love, you know. It becomes a natural rhythm in your life — a beautiful symphony of emotions that requires no explanation. And so, we love, and we love again, in an eternal dance of joy and connection.